Love is blind

Been together for more than a year,
Is not the longest achievement in my life. 
I want us to be together, possibly forever.

But now I noticed that love never lasts long, 
No matter how hard I try to find the right guy. 
Every guy will turns out to be the right one in the beginning, 
But the worst at the end.

Heard a lot of advise from friends these few days, 
And I really realize that our love has changed.

A guy can never understand how it is important to maintain a relationship. 
They just started to take things not as serious anymore, 
Because they own the girl. 
They are proud, and they think that their girl will never want to leave them.

But guys out there, can you think again, on behalf of girl? 
What do we feel when you abandon us for friends? 
What do we feel when you break your promise? 
What do we feel when we can't get your attention and affection?

It is really heart broken for me these few days,
Realizing he is no longer there for me. 
Now he won't stay awake for me, 
He won't drive all his way here for me,
He is lazy to even look at me in the eyes.

And I realize how stupid I am, 
For blaming myself when he tells me: I hate your dad.
I blame myself because I have a mean father.
But a guy that loves you so much,
He will put an effort to make your father likes him.
Every father will test his daughter's boyfriend, and wants him to prove how much they love their daughter.
Won't you do the same to your daughter's boyfriend? 

For these few weeks, I waited for him to give me a hug, 
Tell me in my ears how sorry he is,
And maybe promise me he will do better.
A relationship can never go back to how it was but it can turn better,
When both parties put on their effort for the one they love.

I never doubt his love, never.
But I can't see myself in his heart anymore.
He has a group of friends, 
That keeps him entertained.
They are fun, not serious, games all the time, and most important of all,
They share their problems together.
He feels that he found another group of buddies, and this makes him happy,
And it also makes me blur from his sight. 

Getting over a relationship is the hardest thing ever,
And I really don't want this to happen.
I want to proudly tell the world that,
This man, this man that I loved,
He is different. He loves me more than anything else.
But I can't. I don't even the power to make him come to me when I shed a tear.

I am no longer his priority.
I am no longer his top of the world.
I am only, his girlfriend.
Only, the only one sleeping beside his bed.

A guy that loves does not give excuses.
A guy that loves does not hurt others and do not mend the scar. 
A guy that loves does not break promises.
A guy that loves respects his spouse. 
A guy that loves will think on her shoe, and feels the same of what she's feeling.
A guy that loves will love her family as well.
A guy that loves protects her from any harm.
A guy that loves will put her on first.
A guy that loves will fix a relationship.

And this guy, he don't love.
At least not me anymore. 

I am scared, alone and terrified. 
But I know I have to make a choice.
If you are not happy in a relationship, then end it. 
No point hurting yourself for someone that does not cherish your love and affection on them.
You still have long way to go in your life, with or without him.

Dear Lord,
What should I do, Father?
I feel so lonely, so helpless. 
I don't want to be so misery in my life.
I sitll have a long way to go, and I am  afraid of what's coming. 
Guide me, love me, teach me , Lord.
For I am stupid in love. 

Guys, stop breaking a girl's heart. 
When they a hurt, they will put on their defensive system and you no longer can reach for them.
And one day, you will regret that you never make thing right. 

In the name of Jesus, I pray.
Amen.