To Ariel

Yes, you see it right. This is for you.


Its been ages since I last blogged, and when i blog, it means something really run in my mind and bothers me a lot.

It's been months since we are not talking to each other, like we never met before.
Since the Penang trip incident.

You blamed us for leaving you behind, picking up this big shit on you.And a lot of  things happen after that, and at the end of the day you still feel that we do not feel sorry for what we did.And so, we are apart.


I tried to talk to you, I still remember the small conversation we had during semester break.
It is a short and decent talk, makes my heart calmed down a little bit,
Thought that we will be fine.
But I was wrong.

Somehow, you hate us.
You feel that we talk bad thing behind your back, we hated you.
So you keep all these thoughts in your head,
Spinning and turning,
And you just decided to stop talking to us.
As if you hate us.

And what break my heart is,
You leave PARTS.
You leave something that was once the most important part of your life.
And the reason is, you are busy.
Or from what I heard, you hated us. All of us.
As if we did you wrong.

But do you know that your small little thought is extremely selfish?
You always say that you and I are the same type of person.
Straight forward, loyal, wanna have fun.
So when you hates me so much, and when you thinks that I hurt you,
Have you ever consider that I might get hurt by what you think of me too?

For these past few months, I can't focus.
I keep seeing you changing to another person that I dont know about.
Like someone I used to be so close with, turning into a stranger.

I love you Ariel.
As a friend, I love you so much.
I can't let go of you,
I really want you to let go of the unhappy past and be what we used to be.
But it is impossible.
And I tried to change our friendship, try to make it a new one,
And I failed, failed bad.

I miss you so much, Ariel.
I miss those times when we talk so much, like its never ending.
I miss those times when we both practice so hard for an upcoming performances.
I miss those times when you sleep over at my house, and we have heart-to-heart talk session.

I haven't been to your house at Subang yet.
I haven't saw your two puppies yet.
We haven't choreograph a dance together, yet.
I haven't choreograph a dance for us to dance to.
And it is just too late now.

Like how I lost my brother, I lost you.
In a painful way.
Maybe you want to move on from this part of your life, to another part of it.
Because you are happy without us, without me.

People around me ask me to move on, and stop caring about you.
And now I know I have to.
Goodbye Ariel.
I will no longer love you or hate you.
I won't judge you or care about you.
All the best in what you do.
Maybe we will meet in another part of your life,
Or maybe never.
Bye.