What do you know?

Wake up in the morning, 
started to recall all the memories I used to have with him.
It makes my head burst.
But at least I am able to sleep well, 
Compare to the last few nights.


You do not want to listen to me,
At all.
And this changes everything.
And build more misunderstanding.
Because you never listen.


You saw my post,
You are jealous,
You get angry,
But you do not want to hear anything from me.


I tried to explain,
I really do.
But you can't hear anything.


And at the same time,
He came into my life.
Whenever there is misunderstanding,
When you push me a mile away,
He come closer to me, 2 miles closer.


The more you push me away,
The more he reach closer to me.


There are people saying that he is a player.
Don't you think I wouldn't know that?
I know about that, of course.


Do you know that,
When you refuse to talk to me,
I really wanted to rush to you and hug you?


Do you know that,
The more you misunderstands me,
The more I try to explain to you?


These moment,
When I can't reach to you,
I am really lonely and I don't know what to do.
And he shows up,
Look me in the eyes,
Tells me everything is gonna be okay.


I know that he might not be a loyal person,
So I tried to avoid him.
But the more I did,
The more he tries to show me he is true to me.
Basically,
He change himself.
And I can see that.


Do not judge me.
But I can see,
I can feel,
I can tell.


You might think that,
How could I do this to you.
But, have you ever think that,
I have feelings too?
When you push me away,
When you block me out of your life,
Have you ever think that I will feel sad?


Yes, of course you did.
You want me to feel sad,
So you will feel better.


I am in misery.
I am a human,
But I am a human with feelings.
I need someone to rely on, too.
Do you know that?
Or you already forget that I used to need you, so much?


I have feelings too.
I have ups and downs too.
I am too tired to show it out.
But it doesn't mean I don't care.
But at the end of the time,
What did you know about me?


I never hide anything from you.
Because I know you will check me out too.
It feels better if you can access to every single of my updates,
Isn't it?
But why you want to block me and push me away in your life?
Don't you think it is unfair?


I used to try to make it out between us.
I really tried.
But now,
Everything is too late.
I give up trying.
Because you do not appreciate me, anymore.


He is a person that willing to do everything to make me happy.
He is close to girls,
But it is not in a flirty way.
He is that kind of guy that talks to girls more.


At first, I can see that he is always surrounded by girls.
He is close to girls.
I know that,
And I don't like that.
So I just keep the distance with him.


But he proves to me that he can change his socialize style for the one he loves.


A player wouldn't have only 2 ex-girlfriend in his life.
A player wouldn't change the way he is for someone he cares.
A player wouldn't differentiate likes and loves in his life.
A player wouldn't remember every single moment he had with the one he loved before, or the one he loves.


I can see,
I can tell.
I am not a dummy.
I am way smarter than you.


By the way,
I look way hotter than your new girlfriend.
;)
In your face.


Father,
I love You.
Thank you for telling me everything that I wanted to know.
Even though everyone question me why should I do this to myself,
But I know You always understand.
Thank you for sending someone to tell me everything.
Thank you Lord.
You are always there for me.
Love You! 


In the name of Jesus, I pray,
Amen.