Car accident.

Had a quite serious car accident today.

I bang to the divider and my car tayar is punctured.

Fetch some friends in the car.

We a supposed to enjoy our time at friend's place,

But end up I need everybody to help me with the tayar punctured.

After that, we go to Chatime @ Uptown and hang out.

I am still not sure about the direction and I ask them.

Same goes to it when we go back to college.

I am really blur about the direction.

They seem to feel it is funny,

And start making fun of me.

They start to misguide me.

I hate it,

Coz I will trust them.

After we reach college,

I just dont want to talk.

To anyone.

I am mad at myself.

Really mad.

I finally know how my dad feels,

When he says that he is very weak in sense of direction.

No one seems to believe him,

Even mom scold him, saying he is just being irresponsible.

It seems like both of us has the same problem that not everyone will understand.

We are weak in memorizing direction.

After I drop them off the college,

I park my car,

Change my shoes,

And listen to the music before I go.

To avoid me from falling.

walk to college,

Meet friends,

Greet them with smile.

Moments later,

Mom called, and scolding nonsense.

I could not take it anymore.

I throw the phone on the ground.

I kick it.

And I pick it back up.

I almost cried, but I didnt.

Cool myself down.

Smile it off, and back to practice.

They ask me if I am okay,

And I answered: Yes, I'm fine. :)

Back home,

Tell mom about the tayar punctured.

She started to scold me irrelevant stuff with tayars.

Totally break my wall of defense.

Shed a tear as I run in to my room.

Almost cry out, but I dont have time to do so.

So I keep it back again.

I am really mad at myself.

For being so blur as a driver.

I am making my friends and family that rides my car in danger.

Meghan Soh, you really suck shit.

You suck.

I dont know why,

I just want to hide this feelings from everyone today.

I dont want them to know.

I dont want to cry in front of them.

I dont want to be weak in front of them.

So I decided to keep it to myself.

Dear Lord,

I understand what are You trying to tell me today.

I really do.

Thank you Lord.

And please forgive me Lord,

Coz You told me before I need to share my feelings to everyone,
Including You.

But I just keep it to myself.

All by myself.

I will pray to You, Lord.

Dont worry.

In the name of Jesus I pray,

Amen.

P/s: In case any of you read this, dont worry, I'm fine. It is none of your fault, it's my fault for making you scared. Dont worry. And I am really sorry for cannot make it up to you.